MY 4-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER POINTED AT MY BOSS’S EAR AND KEPT SAYING, “DADDY’S THERE” — BUT MY HUSBAND HAD PASSED AWAY, SO WHEN I LOOKED CLOSER, I COULDN’T BELIEVE WHAT SHE WAS ACTUALLY POINTING AT.

miss him.”

 

That broke me all over again.

 

“I miss him too.”

 

Marissa sat beside us and took my hand. For the first time since Nathaniel died, I didn’t feel like my only options were to stay frozen or replace the life I’d lost.

 

Nathaniel was gone. Gerald loved him. Gerald cared about us. Maybe part of him loved us too.

 

But none of those truths meant I had to step immediately into the future Gerald had imagined.

 

Lily and I needed our own ground first. Our own routines. Our own choices. Our own life.

 

I didn’t know whether Gerald would ever become part of that life again.

 

Maybe he would. Maybe he wouldn’t.