Then something else occurred to me.
“You kept this from me because you were afraid I wouldn’t be proud?”
Grant nodded.
I shook my head.
“You have always been the one I worried about the most.”
He looked down.
“I know.”
“That doesn’t mean I loved you less.”
“I know.”
“It means I loved you so much that I was terrified something would happen to you.”
His eyes filled with tears.
“I know that now.”
I finally reached out.
My fingers touched the badge on his chest.
Grant closed his eyes for a second.
Then I pulled him into a hug.
He hugged me back tightly.
For a few seconds, neither of us said anything.
Then I whispered into his shoulder:
“You scared ten years off my life tonight.”
He laughed through his tears.
“I know.”
I pulled away and looked at him.
“But…”
He waited.
“I am proud of you.”
His face crumpled.
He hugged me again.
Behind us, someone started clapping.
Then another person.
Soon the entire room was applauding.
And for the first time that night, the silence was gone.
The room slowly returned to life.
Jason brought out the cake.
Sarah wiped her eyes.
Eliza kept apologizing.
Mark stood beside me with his head lowered.
“I really am sorry, Mom.”
I looked at him.
“All of you are.”
He nodded.
“We should have known you’d worry.”
“You think?”
He smiled weakly.
I couldn’t help laughing.
It was the first real laugh I’d had all night.
The candles were relit.
Everyone gathered around the table.
Six children.
One mother.
And enough food to feed an army.
Jason raised his glass.
“To Mom.”
Everyone lifted theirs.
“To Mom!”
I looked around the table.
The same children who had once filled our house with noise were now grown adults.
They had jobs.
Homes.
Responsibilities.
Problems of their own.
And yet, sitting around that table, they still looked like my children.
For years, I had worried that after their father left, our family would never feel whole again.
Maybe I had been wrong.
Maybe family wasn’t about having the perfect story.
Maybe it was about finding your way back to one another.
I looked at Grant.
He was still wearing his uniform.
“You’re keeping that on all night?”
He grinned.
“Absolutely.”
I rolled my eyes.
Everyone laughed.
Then Sarah stood up.
“There’s one more thing.”
