Then rushed out of the house without even changing out of my slippers.
The drive took nearly an hour and forty minutes.
I kept Mark on the phone the entire time.
We talked about
Sophie.
The weather.
The neighbors.
The bathroom we’d been planning to repaint.
Anything that kept him connected to me.
Every few minutes, I asked,
“You still there, honey?”
“Still here.”
About halfway through the drive, his voice began sounding clearer.
“Lee?”
“Yes?”
“I know where I am now.”
I gripped the steering wheel.
“That’s good.”
“I’m near Harmon. Route 9. I could probably drive home.”
“No.”
I spoke firmly.
“Stay exactly where you are. I’m almost there.”
He was quiet for a moment.
Then he said something that made my chest tighten.
“You found the folder, didn’t you?”
I swallowed.
“Yes.”
He exhaled slowly.
“How?”
“The mark on your finger. The receipt. The hotel key. Carol at the café.”
I gave a shaky laugh.
“Mark, I thought you were having an affair.”
He didn’t speak.
“I thought you’d taken another woman to our honeymoon room.”
My voice broke.
“I searched
your bag in the middle of the night.”
After a long silence, he whispered,
“I’m so sorry, Lee.”
“Your computer password was LoonLake.”
He gave a faint laugh.
“I changed it after the diagnosis.”
“Why that?”
“Because I thought if I ever forgot the password, I could ask myself where I most wanted to be.”
He paused.
“And I’d remember the lake.”
I had to pull over for a moment.
I couldn’t see through my tears.
—
When I finally arrived at the gas station, Mark was sitting in his truck.
The doors were locked, just as I’d instructed.
He looked toward my car.
For one awful second, I feared he might not recognize me.
Then his face crumpled.
He knew.
He unlocked the door.
We both climbed out.
And somewhere between the gas pumps, my husband wrapped his arms around me and held me so tightly I could barely breathe.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Again and again.
“I should have told you.”
I pressed my face against his shoulder.
“Yes. You should have.”
He began crying harder.
“I didn’t want you to see me differently.”
I pulled back.
“What?”
“I didn’t want you watching every little thing I forgot. Every word. Every set of keys. I didn’t want to see that expression on your face.”
